The Commercial

He felt his life was a wreck. He felt ill, old and hopeless. He had the cold company of loneliness and rancour. He longed for love, but nobody loved him. Suddenly, he saw the enormous naive eyes of a happy baby on a television commercial. Then he smiled without bitterness.

Disliking Robots

"I don't like robots," I said to my new boss after a cup of coffee. "I hate them, I don't like working with cold machines."  "Perhaps you really should try to open your mind." My boss put down his cup and opened his body, then put two new batteries inside.

Young Darwinian

Their son was three. He seemed to understand everything they used to talk about. One day they were talking about “Darwinism”. They told him that men and women came from apes. Then, the kid asked his mother: “Mum, when you were a monkey, did you also live in the trees?”

A moment of glory

Last year I hired a private guitar instructor. I trained very hard. My school’s principal asked me to play a song in front of my students in the Christmas Festival. When I started with the first notes, one of the strings broke. Everybody began to laugh. My performance had finished.

Butterflies

Johnny’s parents never took him to the zoo or circus. They told him that all animals should roam free. On the morning of his first day at school, Johnny was found covered in blood. He’d slit his own stomach. Somehow he recovered. “I had butterflies in my stomach,” he explained. 

Brave Boy

The boy dislocated his foot and was taken to a surgeon. It was a difficult operation performed without anesthetic. To the doctor’s surprise, the boy didn’t utter a sound. After surgery, the boy told the doctor “If my mother had heard me crying, that would have caused her stronger pain.”

A happy man

I am a warlord in Japan. No doubt I am very fond of swords. I ordered one to the best sword maker in the country. Yesterday he came into my castle with it. I tested it beheading four servants in a row. I am very pleased with my new sword.